Empty

bampw-black-and-white-bus-girl-sad-Favim.com-403582

Got up from the other side of the bed. Immediately, everything around seems blunt and pointless.

Stared out blankly in the dusty window, the streets looks narrower than it used to be.

Every single thing around is in a grey or pitch black shade. I looked up and the sky seems no less than brighter than its ashen dusk.

Glancing carefully at the corners of the streets and roads I used to walk on by, during the days when I think, things are a lot better than it is now.

At my reflection, I see, I feel, and I look at nothing.

In a glimpse, it may all look the same but inside, an unintentional surge of adamant sad emotions are coiling up.

Gradually, it’s eating me up and everything around seems like it.

A cliche that can no longer be ignored.

It’s like a world where every thing I see and hear is you. A scrapbook of what the used-to-be memories we have. The feeling is frustratingly exaggerated but it is all true.

Guess, it is my fault to build my whole world dedicated to you. Suffocation is what it is.

Exhaustion from every single moment I’m witnessing. Right from here, to there, to anywhere.. the visions were all about you.

Decided to close my eyes for a moment but then, just right in the picture of us together and all the memories you’ve left are coming right through me, inexplicably.

Nothing can be done, all efforts seem worthless and dysfunctional. I was left with no choice but to deal and taste the painful bite of reality. All I can do is to go through with this affliction. For how long it may be? I don’t know. But surely, it’ll take more and more time than I can ever imagine…

 

This post was inspired by a song with the same title. I am usually like this, whenever I hear something many ideas are coming through my mind then, I just suddenly decided to produce something poetical out of it. It’s like creating my own interpretation or version of that specific theme. So yeah, this is purely based on the emotions of the song I’ve heard. =) 

 

signature

Advertisements

The Capulets, the Montagues and their Neverending Yet Dubious Feud

Feud. It all started with the raging quarrel between two of the well-known and powerful families in Verona during that time. Neither the Prince, nor the religious people could reconcile them. But, it is only by the death of their children they’ve realized that the low-rate and shabby war between them must be put to an end.

The conflict started way before the Montagues and Capulets could remember it. It may sound ancient and trivial to other people around Verona but for these two clans it is a matter of dignity, power, life and, death. It is said that the Prince of Verona himself tried reuniting them but no matter what, they end up fighting and slaughtering in disagreement. All efforts in making these two kins be at peace with each other is just too impossible to do.

The Prince could not manage to wage his alliance to one party because he, as the leader and ruler of Verona, ought to unify and pledge equality to each and every people under his governance. Also, he can’t deny the fact that Montagues and Capulets have grown dear to him, so dear that he could not just simply give up any of them. They sure are both good and loyal followers, comrades, confidantes and friends in his reign.

But what’s really bothering is why of all people or clans, do these two have an unwavering dislike to each other? It may sound absurd but haven’t any or all of the people heard; and read their story have been wondering what are these two powerful families are fighting for?

And so, a little research won’t really harm. Type here, search there, read that, study those. Apparently, the very reason why these two clans are battling is nowhere to be found. Meaning? No constructive or even hearsay “cause,” for the feud they are involved with. It surely is funny to think that the very author of this famous tragedy-love story of all time, may it be in the ancient [by ancient it means even before Shakespeare created this as a play, which popularized it more after he did] or present times or who knows might as well in the future, had forgotten to mention where does the conflict of these two quarreling families came from.

Yes, the love story sure is one thing, but wouldn’t it be more truthful if and only if, the followers of this well-loved story knew where these families are rooting their hatredness towards each other? Somehow, it’ll give them a more concise and understanding on why do they have to hate each other so much, so much that they are even willingly sacrifice the happiness of their own flesh and blood.

Come to think of it, is a life so dear to the family enough to sacrifice just to go up against one another? Is it worth it enough to let hate and resentment reign towards them that, they are even ready give up the one true happiness of their children?

Well, it is definitely just a mere thought coming from a curious yet cryptic mind. And just like how the idea started the answer on the question remains unsolved and unanswered.

Adieu!

goodbye

It’s then and only then, reality kicked in to my mind. The faces, the places, the people and all the things I used to see and feel is definitely gone and not here anymore. The days and the nights of my life is way different now.

I looked to my left and to my right and everything seems just so surreal and cloudy now. Well, it is just then I realized that here’s my new real world now. It is just me with myself and the memories I’ve collected and treasured for the last several days or months or even years of my life. Never had I thought that things such as this one must’ve come to an end to the most unexpected point and time of my life.

I’m not regretful though I’m just shocked that even if I know for a fact that every single thing will come to it’s own curtain call. This seems to be the most sudden of them all. Well, what can I or you or whoever do? Life has its own way of saying that, “Okay, so that ends your turn in that moment. The next is coming and you better wait and see for it.”

Surely, things are just way too unpredictable in our life. There are people who will definitely come and go but there are some who’ll stay with you no matter what.

So basically, here’s where nostalgia pops in. Suddenly there’s an illusion of flashbacks through my memories, yes just like how the films or the dramas on the television is showing them. Everything that had happened to me to past few days, months, years and seconds of my life. Some may be too bad and are worth deleting at the back of my mind, but I definitely wont’t prefer that option besides I am me because of those, I’ll just always keep in mind what I’ve learned through those not-so-good memories or should I say lessons I’ve got. Either ways, it is after all part of me and my life and where I am now. Though of course, majority of my wayback memoirs are the chapters of my life wherein I laugh my ass off so hard, I became spontaneously happy, and deadly hell living the moment. In short, they are just unforgettable.

Oh! How reminiscing ruin my laughing-at-the-moment mood. I’m starting to feel that my eyes are becoming watery because of what I’m seeing on my mind. I guess, I should end my too much blabbering here.

Surely, the past has been long over in my life now. Better yet, I’ve got to face the reality that I have to bade my goodbye to somethings and wave my hello greeting to what the future well, let’s settle with what present will bring me in my new kind of life.

signature

Cluttered

cluttered

Long pause.

A string of unstable yet endless breathing.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Hush.

An elsewhere risk of fate,

and an over and over anticipation

of should haves and could bes.

Yet, no matter what

everything is in disarray.

Far away,

there’s no other entree.

In deep solitude

yet no matter what

everything seems pointless and dull.

An endpoint to a long way.

Everything’s inexplicably in an uproar.

signature

Sorry

sorry

This will be the last time I will say it.
I don’t know, maybe I’m just tired doing it over and over again.
No matter what I do,
You always do the same thing.

Perhaps, you can live with that,
A world without me.
And so do I.

I’m tired of being under someone else’s erratic control.
Somehow, I wanted to find my own self.

And I’m starting of with doing a total re-run in my life.
Without you and all your made up hypocrisy.

Regrets are done cause now,
I’m living my own extravagant life.

signature